Blessings

The first couple of days after finding out about Addison's condition were so incredibly surreal. Just like with this blog (and a lot of things in life) I had this vision of how it would go when I had my first baby. I have wanted children since I can remember and when I was little I always told people that I wanted 100 girls and 10 boys. That has changed just a little but I still want a big family. That being said, finding out I was pregnant for the first time was incredibly exciting for me. My vision started almost immediately. I am sure that I am no different from most women but I started imagining when she would be born and how and what it would be like when she came home. The details are not relevant but let me just say, when I found out about her heart defect all those dreams came crashing down. Now, I know that nothing in life is guaranteed. I have suffered quite a bit of loss and seen a lot of heartache in my 25 years so I am fully aware of that. It goes back to the control issue though and trusting that whatever happens in life fits into a bigger plan created by God. I am still human so even though I have 100% faith in God's plan, I still don't always like the way things turn out and fight feelings of disappointment. With all of that, God always has a way of reminding you of his ever encompassing presence. 

When Winston found out that we were being sent back to the states, one of the first things he had to do was call his new commander and tell him that he would no longer be coming to work for him. From previous experience, Winston's commanders weren't always the most compassionate of people. Not to say they weren't nice but they never gave me the warm and fuzzies. Their wives didn't reach out much either. When Winston called his commander in Italy we had a totally different experience. There was an automatic concern from not only the commander but also his wife. They reached out immediately in a way that I will never forget and unless they read this, I don't know if they will understand how much their compassion really meant. That weekend that we were digesting all of our new news, they came over to the hotel on post and brought us lunch. They have three precious young girls that came to play on the playground and both the commander and his wife talked to us for  hours. We talked about anything and everything. They had had a similar experience with their middle daughter about 6 years ago and shared with us some of the emotion they had felt in finding that out. I felt cared for and cared about. Then, before they left, they shared that when they found out about their middle daughter, a friend of theirs had made a baby quilt with the verse they had been clinging to sewn on it. They had held on to the blanket but felt that it was time for it go to someone who needed it more and they wanted Addison to have it. The quilt is full of colors and in the middle on a small patch it reads: 

"For I know the plans I have for you" Jeremiah 19:11

Such a simple yet powerful verse. What the blanket says has the part of the story that I always remember. God has bigger plans for me, sometimes plans I don't like. What I always need to remember though is that the verse doesn't end there. These plans are "to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me hope and a future." Even if I don't understand God's plans now, they are for my better. 

The commander and his wife shined light into our life that gloomy Saturday and to them I will be eternally grateful. I am also so thankful for God's continuous little ways of making sure we remember He is always present and that that will never change.